Dear sisters and brothers,

The saying of Jesus, “If he doesn’t listen to the Church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector” (Mt 18:17), is often misrepresented. To truly understand this quote, we should consider its author: St. Matthew, himself a former Gentile and tax collector. This context reveals how Jesus treated Matthew, guiding us in our own approach to those who struggle with forgiveness.

Navigating relationships with individuals unwilling to forgive can be delicate. The phrase encourages us to recognize boundaries, suggesting that instead of forcing dialogue, we should allow some space for introspection. This isn’t abandonment; it offers a chance for reflection on their feelings and the consequences of their unwillingness to forgive.

Prayer serves as a powerful tool in this context. The church community can uphold the individual in prayer, inviting divine healing and understanding. Regular prayer keeps them connected to the community while allowing them to consider their actions more deeply. Ultimately, patience is essential, as the individual may need time to process emotions. By maintaining love and encouragement, the church honors their journey and fosters an environment conducive to healing and restoration.